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SouZou's Reviews

SouZou reviews Crimecraft (PC)

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SouZou said...

I do NOT like this game.

I gave it a shot after hearing about it from a friend and checking out some gameplay on Youtube. Little did I know what a waste of time it would turn out to be.

I'll break it down into pros and cons with cons first, because they're always more interesting.

--This game was obviously coded by a bunch of fat, sexist, acne-ridden, mountain dew addicted males that never get laid. The female characters have a choice between a handful of slutty outfits to wear to start. And HEELS. Because, you know, you want to look your best when the country has gone to shit and you're fighting to survive in the hellhole to end all hellholes. And they offer no sneakers for women, ever, from what I've seen in the shop.
--The character customization is a total joke. For a game with graphics this shiny, surely they can have better options than ganguro makeup or '20s pinup model. Sliders are your friend, dammit. I would've liked playing a female that WASN'T taller than all the boys. But maybe that was only because I was stuck wearing Stilettos.
--Have I mentioned the pink bikinis the women are wearing under their whoregarb? Yep. They're there.
--The menus don't match the game. I have to point this out because it drove me crazy. The game's graphics are pretty nice. Not totally up to date, but certainly not last-decade. The menus all look like the pixelated shit we saw back in the days of Diablo II.
--TYPOS. "Defence," for one. My brain twitches at the thought of the rest.
--Unbalanced NPC AI. You've got enemies who aren't all that bad at ducking for cover and sniping you from a distance, but god-forbid an NPC ally gets over their Stormtrooper syndrome and shoots in the RIGHT DIRECTION. Yes, Leeloo, I'm looking at you.
--The hitboxes are all sorts of wrong. I'm not bad at shooters. Not at all. So I KNOW when I'm shooting the kneecaps off an enemy at point-blank range. This game managed to forget some body parts or something, because those shots would yield absolutely no damage. With a SHOTGUN.
--The enemies respawn in the most annoying way in that they just appear, even if you're right on top of their spawn point. Couldn't they have them coming out of a back room or something, not just suddenly standing in the middle of a room? Maybe take player proximity into account?

--It's free. If you don't mind the EXP and mission rewards sucking.
--The combat system isn't that bad. The lack of jumping messed with my head a little, but the rolling dodge, the toggling crouch, and the balanced weapons made combat pretty enjoyable.

I'm uninstalling and wishing I could have those hours of my life back.

Game Traits applied to Crimecraft (PC) by SouZou

  • The Setting:
    Modern Day Street Warfare
  • Playing As:
  • Playing Against:
  • How it's Played:
    MMO, third-person shooter
  • General Tone:
    Life on the streets

Crimecraft (PC)

Genre/Style: Role-playing/Persistent World Online RPG
Release Date: 25/AUG/09
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